


Ima Aeru Nara (If I could meet you now)

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Angst, Falling In Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Rimming, Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 08:50:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14912267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: He fought him day after day, trying to understand what was going through his mind, banging times and times again his head against that wall that the boy had built so carefully around himself, against the stubbornness typical of his being sixteen, against the thought that other people must’ve all be considered enemies.





	Ima Aeru Nara (If I could meet you now)

Daiki was going back home, dragging his feet.

It had been a long, long day.

Parents-teacher meetings always left him with the weird feeling of having his brain muffled, and all he needed now was to close the door to his apartment behind his back, throw himself on the bed and sleep at least until dinner time.

He really hoped he was going to manage that.

It had been weeks since the last time he had actually been able to rest properly.

He had that damn thought in his mind, tormenting him during the day and haunting him at night, filling his head with nightmares that he didn’t want to face, that he tried to keep out, but that always found a way to reach him, catching him off guard at the most unthinkable times of day.

During tests, in class, when he sat at his desk and let his gaze wander through the kids.

When he brought his eyes on him and those thoughts came back, strong with new prompts for his fantasy, which always roamed free, until it reached the limit he had imposed, and he tried to come to, not to go too far, or he knew there was going to be no coming back.

He was still thinking about it, when he walked by an alley and he heard a muffled cry, while by the corner of his eye he saw a quick movement.

He stopped, and sighed.

It wasn’t rare to see things like that, so close to the school district.

Four or five boys which looked too old to still be high school students, but who wore the uniform, had surrounded another one, and were having fun kicking him, chuckling and calling him names.

Daiki got close, slowly, when one of the kids moved out of the way, giving him a better view on the one laying on the ground.

His eyes went wide when he recognized Yamada Ryosuke.

And all his calm went to hell; he rushed toward them, putting his hand on one of the boys’ shoulder, glaring.

“I’m sure we’re done here, aren't we kids?” he told them, arching an eyebrow, then intentionally looked at the school name on the uniform, showing he recognized it.

It was a good school, one of those that would've hardly let an episode like this go unpunished, and Daiki was trusting in that.

What happened next proved him right: the one who looked like the leader threw his friends a meaningful stare, and then they ran, disappearing from their sight.

Arioka sighed again, leaning and stretching his hand out to Yamada to help him up, which he ignored and got back on his feet on his own.

They kept quiet for a few moments, which the teacher used to verify the boy’s conditions.

There was a cut on his eyebrow, a few others on this face and his mouth was bleeding. A few bruises here and there and his uniform torn in some spots, but it didn’t look like there was any severe injury.

He mentally sighed in relief.

“I didn’t need your help, _ossan_. I had it.” he said, with that angry tone the elder had gotten used to.

He got closer, crossing his arms and tilting his head.

“Oh, really?” he replied, ironic. “Because, maybe it’s the age and my eyesight deteriorating, but it looked like those kids were beating the hell out of you. But I must be wrong.” he said, smiling. “And anyway, even though we’re not in school, it’s Arioka-sensei, not ossan.” he added.

Yamada seemed to be about to say something else, but in the end he let it go.

He shrugged and lowered his eyes, making as to leave and muttering a ‘whatever’, when the elder grabbed his wrist, holding him.

“I can't let you leave like that! You’re bleeding, those cuts need tending to.” he pointed out, impatient.

The kid looked at him, amused, and shrugged again.

“It’s nothing. They don’t even hurt.” he answered, but he couldn’t hold back a wince when Arioka tightened the hold on his wrist. He pulled away, snorting, and kept staring at him.

“My place is only a couple of blocks away. Let’s go.” Daiki said, ignoring his dissent as if he hadn't even listened to him.

He started walking, surprised at the fact that the younger started following without protesting any further.

During the short walk neither of them said a word, and it was fine with Daiki.

He needed to think, and fast.

He was starting to believe he had rushed into this. Having Yamada at his apartment, having him so close, far from indiscreet eyes, was well over his boundaries.

But on the other hand, what was he supposed to do?  The wounds, even though not serious, still didn’t seem like something he should’ve overlooked.

He resigned to what was waiting for him, and didn’t hesitate any longer.

He would've resisted, like he had always done since his eyes had laid on the kid for the first time.

Since the younger had moved from Sapporo to Tokyo, since he had walked inside that classroom the first time, since he had looked at everybody with that insolent stare of his and had sat down at the first empty desk he had found, without saying a word, and throwing a challenging look at his teacher.

And Daiki had accepted the challenge.

He fought him day after day, trying to understand what was going through his mind, banging times and times again his head against that wall that the boy had built so carefully around himself, against the stubbornness typical of his being sixteen, against the thought that other people must’ve all be considered enemies.

He had caught himself thinking about him all the time, so much that one morning he had entered the classroom, looked at him and thought he looked damn beautiful, and he hadn't been surprised at that thought. Not at first.

Then he had started lingering on it even more, and he had had to admit it wasn’t normal, not given his role or Yamada’s age.

He wanted him.

He wanted him like he had never wanted anybody else, like he would've never thought he would've craved one of his students.

He looked at him during class, he imagined that body, naked under his own, he imagined touching him, kissing him, licking, tasting, hearing him moan his name.

He went back home every day exhausted without any good reason for it, he got rid of his clothes and brought his hand around his cock, still thinking about Yamada and stoking himself always too fast until he came, feeling worse and worse for that vicious circle he had ended up in.

And he had never thought before he could’ve done something concrete about it.

There was an almost ten years difference between them, but he had learnt to put that thought to the door as soon as it presented itself, so that he wasn’t going to be forced to feel like a monster for that desire, for that craving.

Now that he pictured Ryosuke wandering through his apartment though, he couldn’t help but feel the expectation.

Once they got to the building, Daiki took his keys and opened the front door, nodding toward Yamada to ask him in.

The silence between them became awkward during the elevator ride, but it lasted only for a few seconds, until they reached their floor and walked to the apartment door, getting inside and closing it behind their backs.

They took their shoes off quickly, and Daiki left Ryosuke in the living room, while he went to the bathroom to retrieve what he needed to tend to his wounds.

Once he got back, he found the boy sitting on the couch, looking around pretty amused.

“You treat yourself well for having a teacher’s salary, right sensei?” he said, sly.

Daiki shrugged, sitting down next to him and putting the bandages down on the coffee table.

“I’m good at administrating, that’s all.” he replied, taking a piece of cotton wool and pouring some disinfectant on it, then nodded for Yamada to get closer.

He took his face in his hand, careful not to touch any open wound, and pushed firmly the cotton wool on the eyebrow.

“Ouch!” the kid screamed, pulling away from his hold. “Are you out of your damn mind?!” he asked, shocked.

Daiki made a half-smile, getting closer again.

“I thought you were tough. What is it some disinfectant?” he mildly mocked him, realizing that questioning his pride was a good strategy.

The younger leant toward him again, the usual challenge on his face, and he tried to keep still for the whole time it took the teacher to treat his wounds.

“So” the elder said then, putting down the bottle and taking the bandages. “How did you end un in that alley?” he asked, casually, hoping it would bring Yamada to open up to him.

Ryosuke winced, shrugging.

“Those guys thought I’ve done something to one of their friends. Nothing, really. It happens, people make stuff up.” he said, a smile so falsely angelic that told Daiki no one had made anything up.

The teacher finished bandaging his wounds, then he turned to look at the time.

“It’s almost three o’clock... won't your parents be worried? Want to call them?” he asked, without much confidence.

Despite everything, he didn’t want him to leave. Not yet.

Ryosuke laughed briefly, shaking his head.

“I don’t think they’re home. And even if they were, I doubt they’d notice I’m not there.” he said, and Daiki was hit by those words, the way he had said them, lacking the arrogant note that usually distinguished it.

He wished he would've told him more, but he didn’t want to ask, or he knew the other would've closed back up in himself, ignoring him, leaving that house and never coming back.

That was all Yamada was: a wall to tear down, a kid who refused to let other people know him, because who knew how many in his past had gotten into his life and hurt him, forcing him to become the person that stood in front of him now.

He was off. He played a part, and Daiki felt that once he would've stopped looking he would've become a whole other person, one who didn’t have anything to prove, to ask for, because he was aware that no one was going to listen anyway.

And Daiki’s wish to have him, thinking about him, only grew stronger.

He could’ve given him something. He could’ve stayed next to him, listen to him, never betraying his trust nor letting him feel useless.

Like he did at home, at school, whenever he went.

They kept quiet for a while, before he decided to do something.

“Want something to drink or eat? I should have some daifuku that...” he started to say, but he didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence.

Ryosuke got up quickly, standing in front of him and then straddling his lap, leaning over to kiss him.

Daiki felt his own lips opening up automatically, while his tongue went searching for the younger’s one, like his hands searched for his body, while his mind seemed to be off, and he couldn’t elaborate a coherent thought about what was happening.

There was only one thing he understood: Yamada’s body was touching his own, he felt the heat of his skin through his clothes, it was all he had wanted since the moment he had seen him and he wasn’t going to stop, not now.

His boundaries were long gone, and now he wanted to enjoy the other side.

When Yamada pulled away, they both breathed heavily.

Daiki had left his hands on his hips, and he brushed them up and down, as if he couldn’t stop.

Ryosuke smiled, mischievous.

“I see the way you look at me, sensei.” he murmured. “I see your eyes on me when we’re at school, I know you want me.” he went on, leaning toward him and starting to leave a trail of kisses down his throat, his collarbone, slowly undoing his shirt and going lower, using his lips, his tongue, his teeth, then he got up again and stared into his eyes, suddenly serious. “And I want you too.” he stated, then went back undressing him and kissing down his chest.

Daiki kept repeating those words in his mind, trying to grasp their meaning, to understand whether he was serious or not.

He felt him undo his belt and his hand move to his groin and lower; and there, Daiki grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

He pushed him off quickly, letting him fall back on the couch and standing up, brushing his hands over his face as if trying to put an order to his thoughts.

Yamada looked annoyed, but he kept still on the couch, waiting.

Daiki breathed in deeply once, twice, biting on his lip.

“Why, Ryosuke?” he asked, dead serious.

“What why?” the kid seemed confused.

“Why are you saying you want me too? It’s not normal, can't you see that?” he said, sighed. “You’re sixteen, and I'm twenty-five. I’m your teacher. And you’ve never shown any... interest, toward me. Then you happen to be here, you jump me, you say you want me and you expect me to accept that blindly?”

Yamada stood in front of him, staring at him for a while. When he spoke again, his voice was surprisingly calm.

“You’ve always been there, whether I wanted it or not. You’ve always tried to understand what was going through my mind, what I was thinking about, if I had any problem which I wanted to talk about. You’re a real pain in the ass, let me tell you that. But no one has ever done anything like that for me.” he said, frowning. “You’re beautiful, Daiki.” he added then, and the elder shivered when he heard him say his given name for the first time. “You’re beautiful, and I'm tired of just watch while you look at me like that, while I can see what you’re thinking, what you want, when it’s exactly what I want too.” he finished.

Arioka brought a hand to his face, caressing him softly.

It was the first time he talked to him like that.

It was the first time he saw Yamada Ryosuke for who he was, bared of any superfluity, of any mask, of fake smiles and fake confidence.

And what he saw right now, was even better than anything he had ever imagined.

He kissed him again, less in a rush than before.

He grabbed under his legs, picking him up and blindly walking toward the bedroom, never taking his lips off the younger’s, never losing contact for a moment, sure of the fact that he was never going to grow tired of it.

He let him go on the bed, climbing on top of him and slowly starting to undress him, while his tongue moved behind his ear, on his neck, his shoulder, where he allowed himself to softly bite him.

He took his uniform off of him and his shirt as well, allowing himself a moment to look at him, half naked under him, and smile, because he still couldn’t believe it was actually happening.

He went lower, slowly undoing his pants, determined to take it slow, to enjoy it at the fullest, without rushing it.

He took them down alongside his boxers, and he felt Yamada shiver when his fingers brushed his cock, barely, just for the sheer pleasure of teasing him.

Then Daiki wrapped his hand around it and stroked him, his palm moving steadily and his thumb teasing the slit.

Ryosuke moaned, from time to time. He arched his back to meet him, asking for more, until Daiki decided to grant him just that.

He leant down, bringing his tongue close to his fingers and then letting him go to take him wholly into his mouth.

Yamada brought a hand through his hair, pulling a little, and the elder let him dictated the pace, while his hand moved lower until it found Ryosuke’s opening.

He raised his eyes on him, bringing a hand to his mouth and pushing for him to open it; the younger smiled, way too lascivious, opening his lips and wrapping them around Arioka’s fingers, licking them, making them wet enough for their purpose.

The teacher let go of the younger’s cock, pushing on his thigh for him to open his legs, giving him more room for manoeuvre.

He let one finger slip slowly inside, carefully looking at him, but his face showed nothing more than a slight discomfort.

“Tell me if I hurt you.” he murmured, without even knowing why he didn’t feel like speaking out loud.

“Don’t worry. It’s not the first time.” Yamada replied, chuckling a little.

Arioka frowned, but he decided that it wasn’t the right moment to ask pointless questions.

He slipped another finger alongside the first one, starting to move the hand inside of him and leaning over to bring his tongue to the mix, licking around where his fingers kept him open, feeling Ryosuke’s body spasm.

He pulled his fingers out and focused his mouth on him, violating his entrance with his tongue, then he knelt between his legs, the tip of his cock against him, letting him feel it, letting him want it.

He looked straight into his eyes, he saw the urge, felt it in the way the younger pushed his hips against him and, once again, he gave it to him.

He started pushing inside slowly, a little at a time, relishing every single expression on his face, until he bottomed out and he heard him made a sound both pained and satisfied.

He breathed in deeply, pausing for the time necessary for him to adjust.

How long had he dreamt of this moment?

How long had he desired to feel that heat wrapped around his body, that skin against his own, to see those features twisted by a pleasure he was giving to him?

Daiki felt fulfilled. If his live would've had to end right now, he could’ve at least told himself he had taken what he wanted, that he was taking Yamada Ryosuke, like he had been wanted to do for a long time.

He started moving inside of him, slow but deep.

He wanted the younger to feel him inside, to long for even more, to beg him to go faster, as if he couldn’t resist him.

And Yamada didn’t hold back.

He moaned out loud, bringing his hands on the elder’s hips, clawing at them, pulling his head up and kissing him, searching for his tongue, muffling his moans against his mouth.

Daiki had to appeal to all his strength to resist.

He had never felt so turned on in his whole life.

Just having Ryosuke there, under him, around his cock, feeling every single molecule of his body as if it belonged to him... it was enough to bring him close already.

He focused on the younger’s pleasure instead of his own, trying not to finish off too soon.

He went looking for that spot inside of him that made him scream louder, that made him arch his back toward him, as if he couldn’t be close enough, and he kept hitting there at every thrust, while he brought his hand to his cock, stroking it firmly, trying to keep the same pace as inside of him.

Yamada was close to his limit, and he saw that clearly.

He kept his eyes closed, his nails dug on his flesh, and his moans had turned into chocked screams.

He pushed inside one more time, harder than before, and he finally heard the younger scream louder, while his whole body jerked and he came.

Daiki stared at his face while climaxed, finding it the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

A few more thrusts, and he couldn’t take it anymore; he leant over him, biting his shoulder, hard enough to hurt, and spilled inside of him with a hoarse moan.

He moved for a little while longer, as if his body couldn’t stop, and in the end he collapsed on top of him, his face against his chest and his hands still tight on his hips, unwilling to let him go.

They kept quiet for moments that seemed to last forever, and in the end Daiki felt Yamada’s chest shake.

He raised his eyes on him and saw him laugh.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

The younger shrugged, sitting up and brushing his hair.

“Nothing. It’s just that... you’ll agree, it’s weird, isn’t it?” he said, still smiling. “You’re my teacher. And you’re almost ten years older than me. If someone were to find out we...” Daiki got up quickly, sitting up and wrapping his legs around him, leaning toward him and putting a hand over his mouth.

“No.” he said, serious. “Don’t say it. No one is going to find out what’s happened today, okay? Nothing’s going to happen to you and me.” he said, then he brushed the back of his hand on his face, as if to apologize for the voice used.

Yamada nodded, and now he was serious too. He took Daiki’s hand, holding it tight, bringing it to his mouth and kissing its palm, then the wrist, holding on to it.

They stayed in bed for hours.

Ascertained that Yamada’s parents weren’t going to notice his absence and that they weren’t going to ask questions, Daiki wanted to keep him there as long as possible.

They had sex again, Ryosuke straddled him and let him thrust inside of him with much less tenderness than before.

He kept telling him to treat him like he would've a man, and Daiki felt like laughing at his expression while he said that.

He wasn’t a man, he wanted to say.

He was a kid, and if they had gone down this road it would've hurt them both, because he was sure that at his age he couldn’t possibly understand what it meant to love someone, especially since he had apparently received so little love during his life.

But that wasn’t going to stop him either.

It was what he wanted, and having finally obtained it made him want to cry out of happiness.

Until Yamada was going to want him, there was always going to be room for him in his home, in his arms.

 

~

 

“Daiki?” Yamada’s voice came as a muffled whisper, as if he was talking while trying to avoid being heard.

“Ryo!” Arioka said, relieved, letting show his happiness in hearing from him after almost a week of silence.

“What were you doing, sensei?” he asked, and the elder could imagine his face, his sly smile in calling him that, masking a serene expression.

“Don’t call me sensei, please.” he begged, tired. “I’m just gotten back home, and I’m exhausted. I thought I was never getting rid of the principal today. He’s always on my case, and I can’t really blame him.” he explained.

He heard Yamada’s laughter at the other end of the phone, and got worried about how the younger was going to reply.

“Your reputation of students’ molester precedes you, doesn’t it?” he said, and Daiki shook his head, as if the other could actually see him.

He hadn't been so confident, months before.

He remembered it as if it had happened the day before.

He remembered how Yamada had jumped him at the end of class.

He remembered he had let him drag him to an empty classroom, weakly protesting and pointing out that someone might’ve walked in, but the younger hadn't listened.

He remembered the shocked and disgusted stares of the group of female students which had gotten inside the classroom a few minutes later.

The disgusted stare on the principal’s face while he told him he was fired, and the tears of Ryosuke’s mother, inside that very same office, while she said that their family was moving back to Sapporo.

Daiki had hated her.

Because they could all tell him it was wrong, they could all think he was sick, that he was depraved, but he wasn’t going to take any criticism from her.

He gotten out of the room telling her that he, as opposed to her, loved Ryosuke.

He hadn't turned back.

That very same night, Yamada had knocked on his door. It was late, but he didn’t care. He had told him that he had managed to sneak out after his parents had gotten to bed, and Daiki hadn't even wasted time scolding him.

Ryosuke was crying.

He cried, and he repeated he loved him, and clung onto him with his fists clenched against his clothes, like a child.

And all Daiki could’ve done was hug him and tell him it was going to be fine, when he wasn’t sure of that himself.

Soothe him, when he would've liked for someone to soothe him.

That night, almost six months before, had been the last time he had seen him.

They called, whenever they could.

Arioka kept telling him he shouldn’t, that he should’ve gotten a life, but the younger was too stubborn to listen.

The more he told him that, the more Ryosuke told him that he still loved him, that it didn’t matter where they were, he was going to keep love him.

Then he said that if Daiki would've found someone else, he would've understood it.

Daiki got mad and changed the subject, giving up easily on convincing him. This, until he started being selfish.

He didn’t want him to have a life without him.

He didn’t want other people having him, touching him, telling him they loved him.

“How are you?” he asked then, ignoring his comment as if he hadn't heard it.

The other paused, and he pictured him biting his lip.

“Fine. Today there was so much snow that I’ve stayed home. I’m bored to death.” he said, and then he sighed. “I miss you, Daiki.” he added, whispering.

Arioka sighed, bringing a hand over his face.

“I miss you too, Ryosuke.”

“I've been thinking about you today. I really wish you were here with me, I... I miss your presence. I miss your hands on me. I miss the sound of your breathing when you sleep. I miss it all, Daiki.”

The elder had to make a serious effort not to cry.

He missed him too, but what was he supposed to say?

A thousand kilometres and too many people that weren’t going to understand what was there between them. It was a distance Daiki couldn’t make for, not now, not while he still lived with his parents, not while they still had the power to take him away from him.

They had done that once, and he had felt completely crushed.

He wasn’t going to take it a second time.

“I promise you, it won't be like this forever, Ryo.” he murmured, feeling incredibly stupid for how much he felt like crying. “I promise you that it’ll come a day when I’ll come take you. That once you’ll be old enough to decide what you want to do with your life, I’ll be there waiting for you. That I’ll take you away from everything and everybody, and it’ll be just the two of us.” he said, without managing to keep the trembling of his voice in check.

“When I’ll be old enough to have control of my life, I’ll be the one to come to you.” Yamada replied. “I love you, Daiki.” he added then.

The other smiled, feeling tears start wetting his face.

It was the first time he said that.

It was soon going to be a year since the first time they had been together, since that afternoon at his place and that was the first time Yamada told him he loved him.

He kept quiet, listening to him breathing, closing his eyes and fantasizing about him being there.

He was going to wait as long as it would've taken.

He was going to wait to be able to have him, to tell the world he belonged to him, that they belonged to each other.

He was going to wait his whole life, had that been necessary, because on the other side there was Yamada’s love waiting for him.

“I love you too, Ryosuke.”


End file.
